Conformity.
What does this word actually mean? Elliot Aronson states “Conformity is a change in a person’s behaviour or opinions as a result of real or imagined pressure from a person or group of people.”
Conformity has 2 aspects, the desire to be liked and the desire to be right -according to certain psychologists. People do not like to be different or appear foolish they would rather have social approval and avoid rejection. This is understandable and a reason why many young girls conform, because they desire to be liked. However, when a 12 year old girl is bullied because she wears her school skirt below the knee as opposed to rolling it up like the rest of her peer group, do we ask her to conform, or stand up for her right to be different and not conform? A delicate decision because both conformity and non-conformity have merit.
On the one hand you wish the bullying to stop so the immediate and obvious solution would be “roll your skirt up”, however, on the other hand, should we not teach our young people to respect differences and stand up for their rights?
From recently speaking to this local 12 year old school girl, I discovered that this is a social dilemma which is affecting her learning and her ability to make friends at school. She is a strong and confident girl who internally and externally has made the decision not to conform, however, her self-esteem and confidence has been shattered and drowned out by the strong majority with the opposing view.
Many young adults would recommend compliance. The reason for this is that the bullying needs to stop immediately so that the young girl experiencing the negativity can quickly escape her situation, continue with her learning and make friends. Privately she does not have to internalize this behaviour or agree with it, but publicly it is the easiest solution. However, there is no perfect solution and this advice is completely flawed as it promotes young girls to deny their individuality and personal choice simply to gain social approval which is evidently incorrect. However, as adults we all function in this way most of the time.
The other side of the coin is to teach her to stand up for herself, be strong and not care about acceptance or social recognition at school. This argument is also flawed because the individual is still left feeling isolated and unhappy.
As we develop in maturity there is less pressure to conform and most adults are accepting of differences in others and in fact celebrate the rich tapestry of human differences in all areas of life.
To conclude there is never an easy answer to whether conformity in this context is correct, however, perhaps what we should be highlighting to our young people is that they must appreciate and try to understand both sides of the advice. Ultimately they must realise that the choice is intrinsically theirs as to which path they choose.
Natasha Kremis.
Coloma Convent Girls' School.
