As the stage version of Oscar-winning film Rain Man comes to Richmond this week, reporter Suraya Saleh speaks to a mum about her experience bringing up three autistic sons

Bringing up three energetic boys and a baby is exhausting for any parent.

But what if the boys have no concept of danger, limited social skills and language difficulties?

This is what Sarah and Jonathan Ziegel, of East Sheen, have had to learn to cope with since their three elder sons were diagnosed with autism.

The lifelong condition means 10-year-old twins Benjamin and Thomas and seven-year-old Hector struggle with social interaction and communication, and find it difficult to learn seemingly basic concepts like hot and cold and wet and dry.

The boys are high-functioning, meaning they have regular intelligence and can communicate, althought their language skills are very behind for their ages.

“The thing about autism is that people expect that if your child is autistic, they have learning disabilities and that's not always the case,” said Sarah.

“It's like if you or I went to live in another country with a foreign language. I wouldn't understand a word, but I'm not stupid.”

Another common misconception, Sarah says, is that autistic people are unable to love or show affection.

“I don't know an autistic child that isn't affectionate. In fact, our kids are more affectionate than other kids – they still get into bed with us in the morning,” she admits.

But the boys are not all sweetness and light – like all children they can get angry and frustrated. The difference is that due to their lack of language, they do not always know how to express themselves.

“You're always judged that you have naughty children, but because they can't express themselves verbally, they throw a tantrum like a two-year-old,” says Sarah.

They also have little sense of consequences and can accidentally put themselves in dangerous situations.

She said: “If you're going out with them they still can't be trusted not to run across a road.

“They have no sense of danger, theirs or anyone else's.”

Sarah said it was very unusual to have three autistic children in one family and it was too early to tell is their youngest child, 15-month-old Marcus, is affected. Experts believe it is genetic although there is no family history.

Despite their disability, however, the three elder boys lead very similar lives to other children their age.

They attend the mainstream East Sheen Primary School, but have a tutor with them in class to help them make sense of the lessons.

They participate in after-school activities like art class and Cub Scouts, and can be very passionate about things they are interested in (Thomas is going through a World War II phase at the moment). They talk a lot, but mainly only about what they want to talk about – having a conversation can prove difficult.

Understandably, Sarah is concerned about the future but for now all the couple can do is concentrate on giving the boys the best start they can.

Sarah said: “There isn't a cure, but we can maximise their potential.”

Raising awareness

Rain Man, the stage show based on the 1988 film starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise, will continue its run at Richmond Theatre tonight and tomorrow.

The play tells the story of two estranged brothers - struggling car salesman Charlie (Oliver Chris) and autistic savant Raymond (Neil Morrissey) - who learn a new respect when they embark on a road trip across America.

The National Autism Society’s Richmond branch officer, Laura Lennuyeux-Comnene, said she hoped Rain Man coming to Richmond would help raise awareness about autism.

“Although there is no doubt Rain Man put autism in the public mind for the first time, we hope this production will give us the opportunity to discuss more about how autism affects people in different ways and what further support is needed,” she said.

For tickets, visit ambassadortickets.com