Stand-up comedian Daniel Kitson has written a play featuring taped voices.

The former Roehampton University student is bringing his show to Battersea Arts Centre.

The play is perhaps best summed up in a frank first-person-piece in which he describes his "ambitious and demanding" venture.

He says: "It has a pretty epic scope, a relatively grand vision and somewhere in the region of 20 characters. It is, in short, a real humdinger.

"Unfortunately though, it is a script so ambitious, so demanding, so exquisitely detailed that handing an actor this text and putting them in front of an audience is much like handing a three-year-old child a pint of coffee and putting them in front of a zipwire.

"It won't end well.

"So I, ever vigilant, have pre-recorded each actor, in isolation, onto a separate tape, their fallibility erased with editing and their odious need for attention mitigated by the removal of the audience.

"Leaving a litany of individual voices - each one perfect and captured on a tape that when played back in precise unison will form a glorious theatrical polyphony.

"The play is perfect. The tapes are perfect. I just need enough people to press play. That’s all. I directed it as well and I’ve got the main part too."

  • Daniel Kitson’s Polyphony; Battersea Arts Centre, Lavender Hill; March 16-21; 4pm, 6pm, 9.30pm; £5, £3 concs; 020 7223 2223, bac.org.uk.